(So...I am unsure as to what I should do at this point.)
My boys don't want to play with me anymore, it feels like. Is it 'cause I don't live underwater anymore? Is that it? Just because Daddy don't live with them, it means he can't visit them, either?
I can only play with a couple of them. What gives? Normally I can get a lot of them to come see me. I don't know if it's my fault, or if something happened to the others, or what.
But what I do know is that it's pretty lonely without the others.
Maybe they know? They smell human on me, and now that means I shouldn't be bothered with? Is that it?
Okay, so I slept with a human. Big deal. Suddenly that taints me?!
It doesn't feel right. Everything feels weird lately.
Really, though, I guess I also just wanted to be alone. Nothing wrong with that, right?
Alone...Well, hell, I'm used to that! But now it doesn't feel right anymore. I'm used to it, but now...
I can't get Matty off my mind.
Guess maybe that's why I cut my visit with my boys short.
"Hey, Salty! You were gone a lot longer than usual. Is something wrong?"
"Huh? Nah, nothing. Where's Matty?" Does Dorry know? Does he know what we did in his bed? He's probably suspicious, at least.
"I think he's upstairs checking on Santana." If he does know, he hasn't said anything about it.
And sure enough...
"Hey. You been in here all day?"
"Not really. Something on your mind, Salty?"
...Right, so how the fuck am I going to explain what I want? I don't know how to put it into words. I ain't el...ello...I ain't fancy enough to do it.
So what, do I go with actions? 'Actions speak louder than words', that's true, right?
...I hope it is.
"Well, eh...Here's the thing..."
(End of Chapter 17.)
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